Stir Crazy
Today is four weeks post-op. Stall rest sucks, and as suspected, the mental fuckery of it is absolutely the hardest part. Zuzu has me trained to throw the toy down the hall from my corner of the couch. I had good intentions of posting regularly over the past few weeks in my exorbitant amount of downtime, however I have not had the mental or physical capacity to do too much. The pain is minimal, and that's where the mental difficulty comes into play - I'm used to living in pain and just pushing through, as so many of us are. Except this is pain due to healing, and I'm having recurring nightmares of my innards falling out and every time I feel a pull in my pelvis, whether due to normal healing or (couldn't possibly be) me overdoing it, my anxiety skyrockets. I'm also completely stir crazy. My life went from moving a million miles an hour between working at barns, my real job, and all my animals, to basically a complete shut down. I can recognize that I need the rest...
